the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
