I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize