what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize