You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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