and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
