sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
