There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
