You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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