Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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