I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
