I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Randomize
