Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
