Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I intend to get homeless drunk
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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