This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize