STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
