wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
