You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Apparently you make a good broom.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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