Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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