All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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