Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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