People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
