non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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