Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize