I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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