Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize