last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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