New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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