Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
