kristin has been a bad kristin
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
