Kiss
Puke
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
