just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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