dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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