Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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