yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
