Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
