I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
