I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize