It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize