When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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