Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
