careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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