her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
