I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
