does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
