he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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