summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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