The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
