so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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