my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
