Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
