Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
