youre lurking in front of me
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
