dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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