going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
