is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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