better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
