it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
