he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize