this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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