we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You're like the curious george of whores
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Is it penis luge time yet?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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