with your own penis?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Drake has all the answers
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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