The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
did you just send me my own nude
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
