I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
