I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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