he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
