it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
