Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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