He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
