it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
