Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Randomize
