He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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